Take the Risk

I had a conversation with my closest friend yesterday. It was not pleasant, I was a shit. It was awkward some how. I had little sharp burrs of thought in my mind but I talked about nothing. It wasn't right. All this therapy, all this writing, all these weeks to just think and play the guitar, and finally this morning, in bed, with my coffee and the cats, and the owls and birds outside, it hit me. I have spent the past few years with an internal monologue, voices and burrs in my head, and on the outside I’ve said and done what I thought I was supposed to say or do. It’s taken a complete nervous breakdown, divorce, career change, therapy, journaling, and long talks with my closest friend, but I got it; so simple. Living out loud means trusting yourself and the world enough to actually say what’s going on in the internal monologue. Take the risk. It ain’t easy, but when you find someone who lets you live out loud, don’t let go.