NASCAR and George W. Bush

In addition to the wide variety of therapist apointments I have, today I went to a chiropractor for the first time in my life. It seems that my new computer research job, combined with trying to teach myself how to play the guitar, have caused a few rotated thoracic vertebrea, which basically means that I am in pain while driving, sleeping, and...oh yeah...breathing. Off to the chiropractor I go.
Upon entering the small brick building, which stands alone by the side of the road, with three parking spaces and a lot of mud (New England in March). I am confronted by two large framed photographs of George W. Bush, each signed with a message of "thanks for the support". The second one even has a note saying "Here's hoping we can keep control of the house!" - We all know how that went. I seriously considered turning around and leaving, but the pain was brutal, and I'd be waiting another few days for a diffrent doctor, so I continued to the registration desk.
That's were a sign on a stand, the black slotted board with little white plastic letters, tells me to "pray for relief from pain - scientists say it works!". The young woman behind the counter smiles and says "You must be Virginia" - Now I can't leave because they will charge me for the visit. So I filled out paper work while W. stared down at me. I waited for the first magical "Adjustment", something I had been told about my whole life.
After the initial intake interview, the chiropractor felt obliged to advise me about my divorce. Just so you know, he feels that lawyers are the biggest obstacle to a healthy divorce and that everything should be worked out ahead of time because as soon as the lawyers see your financials, then they determine your fee based on how much they can take of your assets. I'll look into this theory. He was not instilling great confidence in his expertise with his complete dismissal of all lawyers as quacks.
Fast forward to when I'm on the table, face down, in a spectacularly flattering johnny, and he says "I'll leave you in the hands of my assistant for a while, then I'll be back to do my work." I wait. Then I hear "Wake up before you make me fall asleep honey, (giggle giggle)" As I continue this narrative, please understand that I say nothing. I can't, there are no pauses. She puts a glop of mentholated linement on my back and begins lightly massaging the area on both sides of my spine; this is not unpleasant. And she says......
"What do you think of this weather, I mean rain? What's that about? If it keeps getting warmer I'll have to put my four wheeler back together and get out on the trails. These legs don't like hiking, but put me on my ATV and I could spend all day on the mountain. Everyone says I ride like a guy, that is unless there's barbed wire fence involved. They are crazy, they go 35 or 40 miles an hour with barbed wire fence running just inches from thier leg. That I won't do, but I catch up after a while. I can't wait for Summer. Last year I worked two jobs and had no time for anything. I maybe swam for 5 mionutes and I went camping for a night, but somehow that camping trip ended up with two days at a truck show, and all the money I earned at my two jobs? Poof, gone on who knows what at the Truck Show. This Summer's going to be different. I only have the one job, and I made a lsit of all the things I want to do this year. I am definately going to Six Flags with my girlfirends, it's a great place to meet guys. The most important thing on my list I already took care of though. (Pause...beat...beat) I got tickets to the races. Two days of NASCAR will probably put me back quite a bit more than that truck show did, but I don't care, this is for me!"
Now, I am smiling. The work she's been doing on my back this whole time is wonderful, and she is so excited about her plans that it is infectious. I actually begin to wonder what it would be like to go to Six Flags at the height of the summer. Through this whole experience I made a choice not to look up from the bed. I never saw what the assistant looked like. I envisioned her as lovely, not petite, and a big smile. The stories and the voice, and my imagination where helped by the relief from pain that was seeeping into my back. Then she stopped the massage and said "Don't fall asleep now. The doc will be right in, and stay dry, oh and have a good summer too."
The adjustment was terrifying and thrilling. The pain is gone, the weepiness that seems to come with a constant low-level irritation is gone, and I get to go back on Friday.